Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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