"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
