This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
