like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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