dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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