She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
