So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
