I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
