And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
