i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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