I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
