I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
