I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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