just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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