some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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