I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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