How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
