i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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