Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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