Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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