3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
