Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
