I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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