Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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