My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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