Me. At least after what I've been through.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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