You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
