all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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