My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
