I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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