My first STD was from a foam party
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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