Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
