he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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