dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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