she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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