But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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