I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
