Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
