Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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