Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
