normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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