She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
