soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
