The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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