yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
