I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it glows. i had to have it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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