Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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