we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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