i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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