It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The air taste purple.
Randomize