So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
