On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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