thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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