It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize