guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
