omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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